THREE CRACKER-BEATING JOKES:
1) A guy goes to the pub and says to his friend: “you won’t believe what happened. I was taking a shortcut along the railway track when I found a girl tied to it. So I untied her and we had non-stop sex for hours, all the positions, everything.” “That’s great!” replies his friend. “Did you get a blow-job?” “No,” he sighs. “I never found her head.”
2) bloke is driving happily along in his car with his girlfriend when he’s pulled over by the police. The officer approaches him and asks, “Have you been drinking, sir?” “No. Why?” replies the man, “Was I all over the road?” “No,” answers the officer, “you were driving splendidly. It was the fat, ugly bird in the passenger seat that made me suspicious.”
3) Q: What’s the difference between Gary Glitter and Arthur Scargill? A: Arthur Scargill hasn’t touched a miner’s helmet in 30 years…
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